THE CONSPIRACY QUIZ!!
ANSWER ALL QUESTIONS CORRECTLY AND WIN LUNCH WITH ART BELL!
1. Roswell: Who or what crashed?
a. Aliens b. Who's Roswell. Was he hurt? c. My computer!
2. When you see/read the News, do you...
a. Believe it. b. Ask your dog, Son of Sam, what he thinks... c. Ask your friends at the Psychic Hotline!.
d. Believe only the 700 Club version!
3. When you see/read a Conspiracy Theory, do you...
a. Believe it if its on the Cover of the National Enquirer. b. Ask your therapist...
c. Question it unless agent Scully tells you otherwise!.
4. JFK was shot by...
a. Oswald. b. CIA/NSA/MASONIC/BANKING/CABAL c. You don't know! What's it to you, Warren? d. Jerry Lewis e. KGB f. Elvis g. A copycat assassin from Mars. h. What was the question?
5. JFK, jr. was killed by...
a. Ed MacMahon and his evil twin--Dick Clark! b. Marilyn Monroe and Elvis! c. Who's JFK, jr. ? d. The Osbournes! e. The Skull and Bones! f. Homer Simpson g. The Dallas Cowboys
6. The Chinese Embassy Was Bombed because...
a. Bush and his dad hate Jackie Chan movies! b. By Jackie Chan because Jet Lee was there. c. The Air force's NorthStar navigator was made in Korea! d. We felt like it! e. CIA claimed they put too much MSG in their fortune cookies!
7. The X-Files.
a. Is real! Capt. Kirk told you so. b. You don't get the Playboy Channel. c. You only watch P-G and G rated TV, even if you did. d. I use zip files myself.
8. The United States of America...
a. Is a great democracy. b. Needs more lawyers and fewer laws. c. Should get out of Vietnam! Well, shouldn't they? d. Should offer amnisty to all alien refugees, especially--ET's.
9. Tim Lehaye self-proclaimed prophecy guru and co-author of the Left Behind series...
a. Is a wise and honorable man... prophet ... born-again capitalist! b. Should be a cell-block trustee in the seventh circle of Hell! c. Should be given a noble prize for literature! d. Is being sued for writing an unauthorized biography of the Anti-Christ by the Christian Coalition's legal team.
10. You have studied your constitution and are fully aware of your rights.
a. I had a physical last year and the doc said I'm okay! Thanks for asking! b. No. Just my lefts! c. Is that the pre or post AG Ashcroft version?
d. What constitution?
And now, the answers...
If you answered anything except "c" for these questions, you qualify for the following levels of gullibility ... Hell, if you wasted your time doing this--you failed! True skeptics are as Gov. George Wallace the self-proclaimed baston of philosophy once said: "effete, intellectual snobs who walk around Washington D.C. with nothing but PB&J sandwiches in their briefcases" and don't have time to consider the facts. Or was that conspiracy theorists? And what's un-American about penut butter?